Bangalore outing:
It’s a myriad city, it lacks character, it’s clearly been overexploited and what it certainly could do with is less people. Yet there is a certain serenity to it, a kind of calm that few other places have. It sleeps (well most of it anyway) by 11, stubbornly refuses to change its quiet pace and has so many colors it’s a delight.
One thing that I always have when I am at Bangalore is experiences that no other place in the world can give. They are so typical to the city they are almost forming a part of its fabric.

Typical trait 1:
Our autowallahs: I am yet to find one who I can say with certainty is honest. They’re rude, impudent, always want more than their rigged meter charges hapless travelers and refuse to come to most of the places we have to go anyway. Question is, where do they go. The other day I was with a friend and we stopped an autowallah.

She: BTM bartira? (Will you come to BTM)
Him: Illa Madam, tumba hattira ide. (Wow, he stated the reason, and what a reason – Its too close by)
She: Aitu, Bannerughatta bartira? (Will you come to Bannerughatta)
Him: Illa madam, tumba doora agate, olagade hogbeku. (No, its too far off, I’ll have to go inside)
She (totlally exasperated now): Majestic hogtira? (Will you go to majestic)
Him (nodding)
She: Hogi matte, nanagen hogodilla, yelladru neevu hogtiralla (Go then, you go somewhere atleast, I don’t go there).

Typical trait 2:
Our roads: One road that’s not spilling with traffic, where 2 wheelers and autos aren’t driving on footpaths! Where in the world does that happen, should we even call them footpaths anymore. I am really stumped when one of the vehicles comes charging at me on a footpath and the rider doesn’t blink before telling me to get off the footpath. To where? Unless I have wings overnight, there is a high degree of probability that a footpath is my only refuge when walking.

Typical trait 3:
Our outing: Where does the whole of Bangalore go on its outing? To the 2 malls it has which have milling crowds on every inch and there is no possible way you can wade through them without shoving everyone off. I can’t understand it. Why do bawling kids, grandmas who are scared of escalators and have to be escorted and convinced to take the first step blocking hundreds behind them, villagers who stop in front of every glass display in awe even though all they are looking at is a stupid weekender shirt and just about any person as unlikely have to step into the place all at one go.
Forum on a weekend is an absolute nightmare. The fun part is when you see adults at children gaming parlors, showing their prowess at stations that say “For children between 6 and 11”. Come on, we’re not that jobless are we.

Typical trait 4:
Our role models: This was remark passed by a friend and I realized how right he was. The typical software moron look.
If its him, usually a 20 something, wearing ill fitting formals, usually carries a Tupperware bag in one hand and wears a backpack. Has a tag hanging around his neck even though he has been out of office for more than an hour and is walking down the lane, head always lowered as if he is too dejected to hold it high.
If its her, wearing some Indian/western formal, carrying a handbag, a Tupperware, some bottle, a shopping bag (they don’t shop everyday, what do they carry???) and on phone, in the bus, on the road, anytime you see.
This ones ironic, because when I say this, I see myself, a year ago. :)